This page was originally published on 28 August
2008
The Total Stupidity of Fake Smart
The term 'Fair and Balanced' has now been adopted by my town's local news in
it's ads begging me to watch the news at four o'friggin' clock in the afternoon.
Does any human being need several hours of news? Let's, however, get back
to what I was saying about how the term 'Fair and Balanced' is a stupid, stupid
thing. This is why:
I just want to know what happened today. I don't want you to explain it to
me, give me the perspectives, show me all sides, or quote me statistics.
Save that for the internet, which is where all civilized humans go to get their
essential information. If you trust T.V. for your opinion, you undoubtedly
will think I'm an asshole and stick to voting the FOX way. Fair* enough.
Just don't be angry when your life is the exact same as it is now for the rest
of it. I hope you enjoy whatever you're doing, because you're going to
grow old and die doing it.
Just Kidding.**
Why do you have to tell me you're fair and balanced, The News? What the hell
does that even mean? A kid gets hit by a car. What's fair or
balanced about that? I don't want your stinking fairness. I want
The News, dammit! What the hell happened? When did the news go
from a presentation of the facts of the day to a circus car of clowns who keep
piling out to tell you what's about to ruin your life? When FOX proved
that people don't want so much to know what happened, they want to see tits and
hear their own opinion spewed at them repeatedly.
-Dammit-
So now, people go around being fake smart. They expound on some
subject like a fucking professor of current events, but only know the
information that supports their stupid opinion.
Listen carefully: Watching Bill O'Reilly-
-does not make you an expert on anything except being a blowhard. Most
events in the world, particularly important ones, can never be summed up by how
they negatively impact white conservative assholes.
When it comes to your news, TRUST NO ONE. Statistics mean nothing,
polls mean nothing. The truth means nothing to anyone in the media
anymore. The only truth is whatever sells.
Take Jerome Corsi. This is a guy who wrote a book of lies about John
Kerry, and another book of lies about Barack Obama. He wrote a book called
Black Gold Stranglehold: The Myth of Scarcity and the Politics of Oil.
Yes, indeed. Oil will never run out. Believe it.
He calls his spurious lying lies a 'biography', and publishes it as non-fiction.
Must be true, right?
Hardly. It will take you about 17 seconds to find
credible
debunkation of his stupid stupid assertions on the internets. Took me 4.7.
Or did you think a guy who's been making out like an oil baron was going to be
interested in changing things up?
Trust no one.
Take the latest McCain Ad:
“The comparisons are outrageous,
unacceptable and crudely divisive all at the same time. It clearly shows that
when it comes to supporting Barack Obama, his fellow worldwide celebrities
refuse to consider any smear or attack off limits,” -Tucker Bounds, McCain
spokestooge, regarding some shit Madonna said about his totally
straight-talking, smear-free boss. (as quoted by Fox News)
Don't be afraid of change. Don't be afraid to use logic and rational thinking.
Don't be afraid to learn the truth.
Do be very afraid of a lying
liar and his Grand Moff Tarkin wife (seriously, picture her in an Empire
Admiral's uniform and saying, "Evacuate?! In our moment of
TRIUMPH?!")
And trust no one.
*and Balanced
**No I'm not