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POSSIBLIZING THE UNPOSSIBLE

15 March 09

"Something wasn't natural about them, in addition to the fact that they weren't natural." -Col. David LeCours, Vermont Department of Fish and Wildlife chief warden.  He was talking about the antlers bolted onto the skull of a deer by Vermont dumbass Marcel Fournier, who will spend 10 days in jail for his abject stupidity.



28February 09

HOW MUCH DOES YOUR NFL TEAM SUCK?
Ladies and Gentlemens!  The undisputed champions of suckitude*:
The Cleveland Browns!

*According to Google

22 February 09


9
The number of AC/DC songs with "Rock n Roll" in the title.  It goes up to 18 if you include all forms of the word "Rock".  "Ball" or "Balls" appears 4 times.


11 December 08


This Week:  Robert Byrd Speech Concerning Iraq, 2003 and a shorter cut of Byrd in action

25 November 08



I don't know if I can go on...
Mr. Bob Seger,  In the song, 'Turn the Page', are you seriously suggesting that some dude calling you a girl ruins your whole day, considering that you're a major star that gets laid any time he wants?
Get over it, man.


01November 08


The Pope Says Wealth Is Bad

No hyperlink...just don't be stupid.
11 October 08

Whaiku:

Cursive is the Shark
Who only swims crookedly
and bangs into things.





OCT 08, BBC





 
This link will take you to my ancient ass website that preceded this'un




An erratic, irregular, unmethodical thing.  Or else.

 11 October 08
THANKS, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS:
"Now, Oklahoma's gonna win this game, but they're gonna have to outscore Texas to do it."
-Lee Corso, halftime of the OU-Texas game, 11 October 2008

AND HIS SIDEKICK, ACTY ACTERSON:
Mike Knall, Oklahoma punter, who won the Heisman of Acting on Saturday, doing his injured soccer player impersonation.  Weak.
Ow my precious precious kicking leg!
The resulting bad karma caused the Number 1 Sooners to lose to the Texas Bevos of Austin.
See you at the World Cup, sissy boy.


20 August 08

Making dumb things exciting for over a century


Rowdy Gaines Says Everything About Swimming is the Greatest Ever:

 After watching men's gymnastics and especially men's synchronized diving, I had an irresistible urge to wear a dress, which I did.
Then, in one night (August 13th, 2008), I saw the greatest ever swimming ever, as far as Rowdy Gaines is concerned.  He used the term "greatest ever" to describe all of the following:
-Swimmer: Michael Phelps
-Girl Swimmer: Natalie Coughlin
-Breast Stroker: Kosuke Kitajima (Japan)
-Back Stroker: Aaron Peirsol
-Turnaround Time: Ryan Lochte
-Comeback: U.S. 4x100m Medley
-Bonus: 2nd Greatest Swimmer: Lochte (In your face, Mark Spitz!)

When somebody Youtube's this, please dear Jebus let me know.
Also, having seen the greatest night ever of swimming ever, praise Jebus I never have to watch it again.  One more thing off my "Watch this on T.V. before you die" bucket list.

On Sunday the 17th, they showed all the sports you never get to see. Here's a primer on all you need to know about them:

WOMEN'S BASKETBALL:  I was so bored watching this, I fell into a coma and only a double espresso injected directly into my cerebellum saved my life.  Lame.
EQUESTRIAN JUMPING:  This had 'yawn' written all over it, but what other sport features a 61-year-old athlete (Ian Miller, 9 time Olympian from Canada), boys and girls competing directly against each other, and winners who don't go apeshit and show their shirts and asses to the camera ?  Bravo, old chaps.
FENCING:  Two dudes tap each other with swords, then flex and pose.  This happens every 10 to 15 seconds.  Super Lame.
 CYCLING(TRACK): Lame and stupid.  Next.
 ROWING: Arguably the finest athletes in the Lames, it's still pretty boring.





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08 July 08
Who...